Mad King Thorn

General
On October 31st Mad King Thorn appears every three hours in the mushroom circle area in both Lion's Arch and Kamadan. Undead horsemen "Heralds" routinely warned travelers of their master's impending arrival in both cities.

After his arrival, he begins issuing commands, telling jokes, and playing games of Rock/Paper/Scissors. Just before he leaves, he starts the game of "Mad King Says," a version of "Simon Says." If a player performs the correct emote following his commands or jokes or wins a game of Rock/Paper/Scissors, they receive one of the various Halloween treats. If a player fails to emote correctly, they are temporarily killed, but are resurrected before the next command (these deaths do not add to your total death count). At the end of the game, the Mad King rewards everyone present with a Festival hat (style of which is dependent on the city and year in which it was acquired). The game lasts approximately 30 minutes. The dialogue spoken by the king for this game is slightly different in Kamadan than from that spoken in Lion's Arch.

If a player has a character that could access both areas conducting the event, that player could obtain both hats on one character. Additionally, if a player wishes to get each type of hat during the same visiting session, they could start the event at a lower numbered district. When the event ended there and the player received their respective hat, they could then map themselves to a higher numbered district in the other location for the other hat. The time delay for the event between districts can exceed even half an hour, allowing plenty of time to change locations.

Introductory monologue

 * "Greetings, people of Kryta! Your beloved King Thorn has returned! I command you to entertain me on this Hallowed Eve!"


 * "Come and stand before me, my subjects, and bask in my glory!" (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "Greetings, people of Elona! I am King Thorn of Kryta! I command you to entertain me on this Hallowed Eve!"
 * "Come and stand before me. Stand within my lovely ring of madness!" (Kamadan)


 * "Yes, gather 'round. Don't be intimidated by my regal bearing, I won't harm you, unless you give me good reason to do so."


 * "Is this everyone? Where have all the brave Tyrians/Elonians gone? COME HERE, NOW!" (Lion's Arch and Kamadan, respectively)


 * "Good, good! Seeing all my adoring subjects before me again gives me a WONDERFUL idea. Let's have a CELEBRATION in honor of ME!"


 * "It is fitting for subjects to show their king the proper respect, is it not?" (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "It is fitting for peasants to show their superiors the proper respect, is it not?" (Kamadan)


 * "Why, in the old days, there was not a man in all the world who dared look me in the eye as if we were equals."


 * "Now, kneel before King Thorn! Kneel before me! KNEEL NOW, I SAY!"


 * (Anyone that fails to kneel is killed.)


 * "Those who did not kneel must die!" (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "In days of old, any who did not show proper respect to the king paid with their lives. Fitting, if you ask me." (Kamadan)


 * "I just love to see you all grovel! HA HA!"


 * ''"Isn't this fun? I haven't enjoyed myself this much since I had that entire village skinned alive all those years ago!"


 * "This is quite entertaining, don't you think so?"


 * "I asked you all a question! Do you AGREE, or don't you?"


 * (Players must perform the /agree emote or be killed.)


 * "I'm sure you can guess what happens to subjects who do not agree with their king!" (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "I'm sure you can guess what happens to peasants who do not agree with a king!" (Kamadan)


 * "HA HA! It is good to be king."

Lethal rock-paper-scissors

 * "Now, as you all know, while I lived, my military genius was unsurpassed. I crushed every peasant revolt that rose up against me!"


 * "My army could not be defeated! My fleet was unsurpassed! Most impressive of all, I was the MASTER of that greatest test of strategic aptitude: ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS!"


 * ", you look like a smart one! Now, I am going to count down from three, then you must choose a weapon that will overcome the weapon I choose."

The player can win, lose or tie. If the player wins, he/she gets one of the Halloween items (random in 2005-6, a Trick-or-Treat Bag in 2007). If there's a tie, nothing happens. If the king wins, he kills the player (who is quickly resurrected). What he says, depends on the outcome:

King wins: "I'm afraid I'm just too smart for you. You've lost and so you must die. Justice is cruel, ha ha ha!"

Player wins: "I have lost? How can that be? DID YOU CHEAT ME? No, I suppose not. Here is your reward."

A tie: "A tie? Ha ha ha ha ha. Great minds think alike, do they not?"

Killer jokes
In this sequence, the kings begins by noting the absence of his court jester:


 * "What this celebration needs is a bit of humor. Unfortunately, the court jester couldn't make it tonight."

Then says:


 * "Luckily for you, in addition to being wise and generous, I am very, very witty. Listen up!"

He then tells one of the following jokes:


 * "A Troll, a Tengu and a Dwarf walk into a bar..."


 * "No wait, only the Troll and the Tengu do, the Dwarf walks UNDER the bar!!"


 * "I just flew in from the Underworld ..."


 * "and boy are my arms tired!"


 * "Knock, Knock"


 * (Now you say: "Who's There?")


 * "It's Mad King Thorn, and I command you to laugh! LAUGH NOW OR DIE!"


 * "Why can't you borrow money from a Dwarf?"


 * "Because they're always a little short. HA HA HA HA HA! Get it? DWARVES are SHORT!


 * "Why did the Charr cross the Wall?"


 * "To get to the other side!"


 * "When I first returned from the Land of the Dead, one of the fine citizens of Lion's Arch let out a cry: "Why King Thorn, you have a pumpkin on your head!"


 * "And I said, "Eh? So he repeated, "Milord, you have a pumpkin on your head!""


 * "And I said, "What? So he yelled, "Milord, you have a pumpkin on your head!""


 * "To which, I replied, "A thousand pardons, fine citizen, I cannot hear you. I HAVE A PUMPKIN ON MY HEAD!" HA HA HA HA HA!"

This joke is unique to the Halloween 2006 event in Kamadan:


 * "Why did the Corsair cross the sea?"


 * "To get to the other tide!"

These jokes are new as of the Halloween 2007 event:


 * "How many Asuras does it take to screw in a power core?"


 * "None, they force a human to do it for them!"


 * "How are a Paragon and a drunkard alike?"


 * "Both like to shout at strangers and run around without any pants."


 * "This celebration gives me a feeling of deja vu."


 * "This celebration gives me a feeling of deja vu."


 * "This celebration gives me a feeling of deja vu. (That's a joke, you dolts! LAUGH NOW OR DIE!)"


 * "What's the difference between the Great Dwarf and the Great Destroyer?"


 * "One is a harbringer of the apocalypse and the other is an oxymoron."


 * ''"Why do the Norn "Become the Bear?"


 * "Because "Become the Arrogant Loudmouth" was already taken by the Asura."

Only these jokes and the pumpkin head one from previous years were told in the 2007 event.

The 2008 jokes are very different from the ones told in 2007, however the pumpkin head, and the paragon joke both still remain. New jokes are as follows


 * I know you mortals are always interested in future events, so I will give you a little preview.


 * "Two hundred years from now..."


 * "YOU ARE ALL DEAD. MWAHAHAHAHAHA"


 * "So the Dwarf said to the Human... uh... something about... and then the Human took a uh..."


 * "Anyway the story ends with the Dwarf dead and the Human beheaded and it turns out I got all the gold! Muhahahahahaha."


 * "What's the difference between someone who doesn't laugh at my joke and a corpse?"


 * "I DON'T KNOW EITHER!"

After each of these jokes, any player that fails to laugh is killed, and the king states that:
 * "One way or another, my jokes always slay the audience."

Players that laugh are given a gift (in the form of one of the Halloween Collectors items) with the words:


 * "Although I know the joke was rewarding in itself, here is a little something for those who laughed."

Music and dancing
Music:
 * "I grow weary of these games. Let us have music! I demand music! (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "Now that this party is warming up, I realise something is missing. Let us have music! I demand music! (Kamadan)


 * "Everyone play and keep playing. Play your hearts out. PLAY OR I WILL RIP YOUR HEARTS OUT!"


 * "Now, play for me! And give it everything you've got!" (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "Yes yes. Play for me now! And give it everything you've got!" (Kamadan)


 * (Players must do an instrument emote or be killed.)


 * "Such sweet music to my ears. It reminds me of my glory days. You have all done well and will be rewarded."


 * (If there isn't at least one of every instrument being played everyone dies.)


 * "What no one playing the ."

Dancing:
 * "There is something missing from this celebration...but what could it be?"


 * "I know! This is a party, is it not? Then why is there no dancing?"


 * "Let the dancing begin! dance, I say! DANCE!!!!"


 * (Players must do the /dance emote or be killed. /newdance does NOT work.)


 * "If you don't dance, then you're no friends of mine."


 * "Some of you dance well. I am pleased. Here is your reward."

Other emotes
Begging for treats:
 * "You all like treats don't you? Of course you do! We all love treats!"


 * "Hmm... Some of you don't seem to want treats very badly. You had better convince me that you really, really want a treat, or I shall be disappointed...."


 * "Let me see you beg!"


 * (Players must do the /beg emote or be killed.)


 * "Hardly a worthy effort from some of you. Can you not beg any better than that?"


 * "Many of you are excellent beggars! Ha ha! I am pleased."

Bowing:
 * "If only I could relive those glory days, when all would bow before me..."


 * "I remember a time when I would walk through the city and all of my subjects would bow before me."


 * (Players must do the /bow emote or be killed.)


 * "Ah...it is good to be back in Lion's Arch." (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "If only I could relive those glory days, when all would bow before me...."


 * (Players must do the /bow emote or be killed.)


 * "Has it not been for that little misunderstanding with her father, the people of Elona might have all been my subjects."


 * "Ah...it is good to be back in Kamadan. When I was a young man, I came all the way here from Kryta to woo the royal princess." (Kamadan)


 * "Perhaps I was too subtle in my request for some of you to understand. Too bad for you."


 * "Loyal subjects are always rewarded."

Scaring:
 * "Hmm... things are not nearly scary enough around here."


 * "I think that on a night such as this, the mood should be very scary."


 * "I'd like you all to try and scare me. DO IT NOW!"


 * (Players must perform the /boo or /scare emote or be killed.)


 * "Some of you couldn't scare a moa bird!" (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "Some of you couldn't scare a flamingo!" (Kamadan)


 * "Some of you truly frightened me! I think a reward is in order."

Team spirit:
 * "It is nice to see so many people from across Tyria working together to appease a Mad King such as I. It almost brings a tear to my eye." (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "It is nice to see so many people from a distant land working together to appease a Mad King such as I. It almost brings a tear to my eye." (Kamadan)


 * "However, some of you do not seem to possess the proper...how shall I put it...team spirit."


 * "Let me see your team spirit...GO TEAM!!!"


 * (Players must perform the /goteam emote or be killed.)


 * "This lack of team spirit will not be tolerated! Die!" (Lion's Arch)

OR
 * "A lack of team spirit will not be tolerated." (Kamadan)


 * "Yes! It even smells like team spirit!"

The Mad King Says
The version of Simon Says which is played near the end of his visit:
 * "This last game is very difficult and will take all of your skill and knowledge. Even the greatest heroes of Orr, Kryta, and Ascalon have feared to play this game with Mad King Thorn. We shall now play..." (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "This last game is very difficult and will take all of your skill and knowledge. Even the greatest heroes of Elona have feared to play this game with Mad King Thorn. We shall now play..." (Kamadan)


 * "...Mad King Says!"


 * "All right, this is very simple. You must do only what the Mad King Says. If I give a command preceded by the words "Mad King Says," then you must obey. If you do not hear these words, then you must not undertake the action. Are we ready?"

Flex:

Do: "Let me see your muscles! Mad King Says: FLEX!"

Don't: "Let's see your muscles! FLEX!"

Jump:

Do: "I think I would like you all to jump now. Mad King Says: JUMP!"

Don't: "Now JUMP!"

Roar:

Do: "All right now, I think I would like to hear all of you roar like a great beast. Yes, that would be nice. Mad King Says: ROAR!"

Don't: "All right, now roar like a monster! Ready, set, ROAR!"

Yawn:

Don't: ''"I know you are not bored, but still, I would like to see you YAWN!"

During the 2007 and 2008 event, the Mad King always asked for the emotes in the same order. The emotes are bolded when you were better off doing as he said:
 * Flex
 * Yawn
 * Flex
 * Jump
 * Flex
 * Jump
 * Roar
 * Jump
 * Roar
 * Yawn
 * Jump
 * Jump
 * Roar
 * Roar

Exit
Parting words from the king:
 * "Sadly, it is time for me to go."


 * "Do not weep, for it has been a glorious night!"


 * "Look for my heralds, mark the signs that fortell my coming, for I will return!"


 * "Farewell, my loyal subjects! Here is a final gift for each of you!" (Lion's Arch)

OR


 * "Farewell, my adoring public! Here is a final gift for each of you!" (Kamadan)


 * (The Mad King disappears.)

Upon his exit, players are rewarded with a festival hat, the type depending on which city they were in during his visit.

The following hats were awarded for the event:

Trivia

 * After he orders the players to perform the /goteam emote, he exclaims: "Yes! It even smells like team spirit!" This is a reference to the famous Nirvana song, "Smells Like Teen Spirit."
 * After he orders the players to perform the /dance emote, he exclaims: "If you don't dance, then you're no friends of mine." This may be a reference to the pop group Men Without Hats successful single "The Safety Dance" for the song lines:
 * "'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, Well they're no friends of mine".