User:Mgrinshpon/Breaking News

Ok, something happened to me yesterday that puts all of the innane bullshit that happens in your lives into some serious perspective. I was in town, looking for a rare part for my computer, when I got kinda hungry. Our town is pretty crappy when it comes to food - we've got a few pricey resteraunts and a McDonalds and a Subway. I was closer to the McDonalds, and, although McDonalds is massive fail, I was tempted by the promise of their sweet chicken mc nuggets, and so I went in. ..

It was all fairly business as usual, there were about 20 people in the downstairs area. I noticed that I had to walk round a stupid woman and her toddler to get to the counter area. Remember this, as it is important.

Anyway, I ordered a cheeseburger, some chicken nuggets, and a coke. I paid the woman, got my food, sat down and ate it. I noticed again that the woman was still messing around with her kid by the time I was done a few minutes later.

Well, I didn't take long to eat, so I got up to leave the resteraunt and go about my business, passing the woman and kid again, when I heard a klunk noise, like plastic falling onto tiles, and looked down at my feet. Sure enough, the toy the kid had been messing with had skidded to a halt inches from my fine brown leather shoes.

Thats when I noticed it. It was a power ranger toy. Not an original, like I had, but the new Turbo rangers verison. I bent down and picked it up, staring at its brilliant blood red colour, its fully poseable limbs, it's red belt, and awesome helmet. In my hands I held a work of art. I was thousands of miles away, when I heard a voice say "Thank you". "Whuuuuh?" "The toy. Thank you". It was the mother. The silly mother who had allowed her child to perform an act of sacrelidge such as drop this model. "Yes... the toy". I held onto it as long as I could, not making eye contact, simply staring into the visor". "Erm..." "..." "Can I have it back, please". "...No. You do not value such a thing. I have seen how you treat it. I do not think you or your child deserve this masterpiece". "What? It's just a red power ranger to..."

The bitch didn't get the chance to finish her words, because I shoved the cola cup in her mouth. "THIS IS NOT A TOY! THIS IS THE RED POWER RANGER! THE MOTHERFUCKING RED POWER RANGER!" I waved it in her face. She was making some kind of a wimpering noise. The kid had ran off crying. All of the store was staring at me. "Do you know ANYTHING about the red power ranger? Did you watch every series of Mighty Morphing Power Rangers as a kid? Huh? NO! Who was the first red power ranger? WHO!" "I...I don't know!" She cried. "FOOL! IT WAS JASON LEE SCOTT! Played by non other than Austin St John! Who replaced him?" Sadly, I didn't get a chance to finish educating this silly woman on power rangers history. The manager grabbed me and threw me out.

And that's the story of how I got banned from McDonalds. It was totally worth it, just to spread a little education on the might and awesomeness of the red power ranger.