User:Randomtime/Gw in a nutshell

Hey there - I've been thinking about stuff do do - I couldn't think of anything, so instead I'm going to tell you what I think about Guild wars.

Warnings

 * 1) This Was done by me - it may be entertaining - i'm not promising anything - especialy funny, I don't think I do funny.
 * 2) This may contain some naughty words, you might not want to read this whilst mummy is watching.
 * 3) I like GW - however it may seem.
 * 4) Spoilers
 * 5) No proof reading

So let's start

Guild Wars (Prophecies)
Funny name Guild Wars, since the game is baised years after they have finished. Probably because it was based in the Guild Wars in the planning stage - and the idea was scrapped and then put as background lore in the manual, anyway. You start off in a nice land with nice everything, the manual being particularly unhelpful in giving you a super cool story (about some attack on an acadimy - you don't understand it yet) - but having that story be 2 years (and servral missions) away from when you start. Anyway - here you are, if you are me you bought the game, and Played Run Escape telling everyone on your fiends list that you've got this super cool new MMORPIGUH and you are going to check it out, after it downloads what seems to be like a rather large p0rn movie. After you've told the last friend that hasn't ignored you - the game stops installing and downloading and gives you a cool little splash screen that displays "Guild Wars". Nice fancy graphics give you a "hey n00b - Run Escape#s graphics were garbage, get into the real world" syndrome. You create an account, and then sit back and create a PvE account (one that you deleted later - please go to the talk page if you still have your first character) - once that character was created, you are plunged into another splash screen with a rather cool concept art, telling you to go and play Run Escape again. (BTW - if you were me the code for Prophicies was teh unclear and you had to run crying to tech support for them to sort you out, only to figure out that that R was accualy an I and then an A and get the game running.) So with the game installed and finaly downloaded - it's time to explore.

Guild Wars starts off in pre searing, home of the lovely Gwen (which many players seem to have too much of an attachment to (you know who you are person who can't get their symbols of natsiism the right way round, and that is WAY too much said on that topic (BTW - if you didn't get that reference, I do not advice you look through the history of an article on the NPC - please, it scarred my brain))). Anyway, after rescuing a flute and looking at the beautiful graphics (the sort of, "first shot of drugs" mentality that Anet gives you to get you hooked) it gets burnt to a cinder. Horray, now you (or, more likely your 3rd Uberhot female character that looks good without armour) need to save the world from the charr, until the prince has a falling out with his dad, and escapes his evil taunts by going up some mountain range, after doing that, you get into another lush country (called Kryta - nothing to do with Crysis) and get a honery membership to the rulling power, the white mantle. You then discover - in a jungle that you have traveled to, that they are evil (that is, if you didn't buy factions or nightfall at this point, and took your characters there for an explore) - after going through the Jungle - you end up in Divinty coast with some guy carring the septer of orr. (Plot note: nobody gives a shit about the charr and the white mantle are evil). You then sail accross the sea to a desert (seas and deserts never seem to be near each other, but meh and have to attempt to ascend youself, this tough challenge invoves 3 missions then killing a Mob with your own skills, or a quick travel to Cantha and a Droks run, you choose. Once you do that, you go to a grain of sand because a dragon wants to talk to you, then kill her for the bonus (the most WTFplot moment in the story so far). Someone tells you that the dwarfs are in trouble - so you go and help then, crossing the bloddy shiverpeaks and fighting tonnes of dwarfs for no reason but "it's fun" for the second time. You save a king, you go and kill some evil people on a volcano, and you SAVE THE WORLD.

For the irritaiting person who says, but what about the Charr, let me repeat myself THUS SAVING THE WORLD.

For now...

Factions (or Fractions - as I put on my very first Guild Forum)
Well, the storyline for this game was more like... Shiro returns, shiro flees, you create an alliance with luxons, you kill shiro, you save the world. Fun!

Nightfall
Yayyyy Elona - You sart off on an island with someone asking you if you want to take a bloated tutorial (which the island of Istan is to start with). Once you have saved a village from people that you can kill with one hit of anything - you go throgh another extra long GW tutorial fest, emerging on the other side with not enough money to buy max armour, so in the first of the 3 mainland desert reigons, you either grind for amour, or (most likely) withdraw it from your bank vault from when you were UW running in the prophicies Era. Anyway, after going through 3 supprisingly different types of desert (basic desert, lush desert and evil worm land) you finaly end up in a corrupted film, which is apparently the lair of the Evil god, after taking down the evil god, your spearmarshel (who everyone seems to love, but I think is a bit of a dick, she just stands there) gets elivated to God status, horray for her. Anyway, you saved the world.

Eye of the North
Heading once more into the shiverpeak (Shiverpeaks = anything related to prophicies) mountain ranges, you gain a band of new heroes, which includes Adult GWEN (Mooooooore fetish). After doing a bunch of quests (which is basicly a "meet and greet" for Guild Wars 2) you need to do what you do for every other GW content pack, and save the world. The game is less liniar, but there's a lot of exploring those dammed shiverpeaks (Yes, I have had enough shiverpeaks to last me a lifetime after finshing prophicies. The best part of this expantion is Charr land, beacause it's pre (partly to stop some people from whining) - and the worst is the shiverpeaks. Dungeons are fun, but as it's the last conetnt release we've got, and Anet is currently masterbating withought producing any resaults (mental image) that's all we've got, except the bonus mission pack, whch should have been released much later.

SO THERE