User:Gigathrash/Pagent

[[Image:Maui_sig.png]]

 * Option one: if I spread Guild Wars to the world, I would firstly divide them into the Kurzicks and the Luxons. The Western Hemisphere would be the denizens of the Stone Forest, and the Eastern Hemisphere would be the inhabitants of the Jade Sea.  I would then assign each human their class and their weaponry.  The Assassins would be given two butcher knives apiece; the Paragons would be assigned javelins and shields; the Dervishes would be offered war-glaives, as scythes are quite silly.  The Ritualists would each get a large clay urn full of flour, and a match; the Rangers could have their choice of a bow and quiver of arrows, or a vicious Doberman.  The Warriors would enjoy sledgehammers.  The Mesmers would have mind-altering drugs.  The Necromancers are allowed two doped-up hobos each.  The Elementalists get a carbomb; the Monks have painkillers and medical training.  The world would then embark upon a ruthless, terrifying Alliance Battle that would last until every idiot was lying in a terrible, mutilated heap on the ground and wondering with their dying breath why they weren't respawning.  The survivors (including myself, naturally) would take great joy in the demise of the nubs and the morons, and we would prepare for the Second Coming of Christ Guild Wars, and begin cosmetic surgery and selective breeding so that the Charr, the Sylvari, and Asura and the Norn are viable race options.  Option two, I nuke the **** out of everything and call it an homage to Izzy.  And that's how I'd bring Guild Wars to the world.  I hate you all.
 * Edit to add: THIS.  Clearly a game that inspires such phat beatz can also inspire being awesome, or something.  I don't know, I just like the rap.

&mdash;[[Image:MaySig.png|Hello]] Warw/Wick
Oh crap, a speech? Today? I thought it was next week.. Ugh.. Alright, put my coffee on. If I win this pageant and spread guilds wars to the world.. if I spread Guild Wars to the world, I would firstly divide them into the Kurzicks and the Luxons. The Western Hemisphere would be the denizens of the Stone Forest, and the Eastern Hemisphere would be the inhabitants of the Jade Sea. I would then assign each human their class and their weaponry. The Assassins would be given two butcher knives apiece; the Paragons would be assigned javelins and shields; the Dervishes would be offered war-glaives, as scythes are quite silly. The Ritualists would each get a large clay urn full of flour, and a match; the Rangers could have their choice of a bow and quiver of arrows, or a vicious Doberman. The Warriors would enjoy sledgehammers. The Mesmers would have mind-altering drugs. The Necromancers are allowed two doped-up hobos each. The Elementalists get a carbomb; the Monks have painkillers and medical training. The world would then embark upon a ruthless, terrifying Alliance Battle that would last until every idiot was lying in a terrible, mutilated heap on the ground and wondering with their dying breath why they weren't respawning. The survivors (including myself, naturally) would take great joy in the demise of the nubs and the morons, and we would prepare for the Second Coming of Christ Guild Wars, and begin cosmetic surgery and selective breeding so that the Charr, the Sylvari, and Asura and the Norn are viable race options. Option two, I nuke the **** out of everything and call it an homage to Izzy. And that's how I'd bring Guild Wars to the world. I hate you all. No, seriously, I do. :D. And now then, erm.. Vote for me! I'm teh bestest thief around here! &mdash; Warw/Wick 06:29, 30 April 2008 (UTC)

Shadowphoenix

 * lj3iNxZ8Dww *sniff* and world peace

Shadowcrest

 * I don't do lulz. As such, bringing GW to the world would only pwn the humans. Firstly, we'd be fucked irl, since everyone has no lief as they're playing gw 24/7. Then we'd get pwned IG because every race in the game hates the humans. QQ. Plants attack us, ffs. Wth is that. If we brought GW to the world we'd have to clone Izzy just so they can constantly rebalancing. And then the world would implode. Lolz.

BunBun
If I could bring Guild Wars to the world, I … wouldn’t, and here’s why. Guild wars, though it’s great for entertainment value, in real life, or applied to real life, would bring us back thousands of years as a society. In GW, we’re still using a trade economy where someone will starve to death because they can’t find any “Tanned Hide Squares” or “glowing hearts” or some shit to put food on their plate. Hunger would be a problem. Not aids, not cancer,… just hunger.

Aside from the fact that normal everyday people are totally discounted unless they can offer a service such as giving bottles of dye or taking spare runes off of your hands, the world is mostly populated by super human god like beings. A class system would emerge: Commoners, and “exalted” hero types. This creates a stark division between those who can and those who cannot.

Speaking of divisions of who can and cannot. What about education? There is no education in guild wars. You could argue that there was an aural history passed down from quest NPC to exalted hero type, however, there is no formal education. There would be nobody to rise and lead the huddled masses.

The whole concept of international peace and negotiations would be completely annulled. Nobody plays with other players anymore; everyone just plays with heroes and henchmen. How is anyone to be able to appreciate another person’s worth if a mindless AI robot is able to complete the same task, not only more effectively, but doesn’t bitch about builds or skills. This would be like Canada saying to America “why don’t you have milk in bags!” while America is in the middle of helping them annex from Britain. You just don’t want to hear them bitch about it. And thus, international communication would crumble.

And now for the biggest complication of bringing GW to the world: Women would become SUCH a prized commodity that no man would be worth more than their pretty pixilated face. Seeing as how females are numerically scarce, all men would be pursuing woman with such ferocity we would have to figure out a protection program to prevent women from getting mauled. We can’t blame men, as this is necessary for the human species to continue, however that being said you can’t trust any in-game claim of the female gender: most are actually men. Thus, women who can actually prove their femininity are even more highly prized.

In conclusion, although I believe hilarity would ensue if GW was brought to the real world it would set our species back thousands of years. I for one am quite content on leaving it at entertainment only. However, if this actually were to happen, we would all praise Lord Loooooongcat for epicness, and over NIIIIIIINEE THOUSAAAAAANDDD lulz would be had.BunBun 04:05, 4 May 2008 (UTC)

&mdash;♥ Jedi ♥ Rogue ♥
I would establish a Global Tournament where different territories could battle it out to determine who gets Favor of the Gods. If everything goes as planned, the countries will use the international districts to form groups and players of all colors and creeds will intermingle. Once they are used to playing together and become friends, I will eliminate the Favor system and allow all players to travel to districts of all territories to promote further international cooperation. With the the need to compete for favor removed, the nations of the world will no longer need to compete at all and it will usher in a new era of peace and goodwill towards man!

[[Image:Ereanorsign.jpg]]reanor

 * If I could spread GW to the world, I wouldn't. Because once everyone is playing Guild Wars, whenever they have a question about the game, the in-game help will lead them to GWW, so nobody will ever come to GuildWiki and I'll have no one to share my Maui's boobs lust with.

Felix Omni

 * I would replace all forms of diplomatic conduct with Random Arenas and force representatives from all countries to play. Naturally I would select their builds very carefully.

United States

 * Naturally, the US would lead a pre-emptive strike against the opponent's spellcasters, targeting elementalists first because they might have nukes. The United States does not need a Res Sig; if you die, it's because you were wrong in the first place.

Canada

 * Massive and easily ignored. Hydroelectric power equals good energy management.

Russia

 * PvE-only skill? In Soviet Russia, environment plays against you!

Mexico

 * Usted no debe necesitar una descripción para que esto sea divertida.

Italy

 * Italy is awesome. Stfu.

--[[image:GEO-logo.png]] Jïörüjï Ðērākō.> .cнаt^

 * Writing essays now are we? Well, let's see what I can muster up. Spreading GW to the world... a strange concept if you think about it logically. But logic has nothing to do with making the world better. A world's worth of people, all playing Guild Wars... with so many people playing, it stands to reason that there would always be teammates ready for missions and exploring. I'd like to think this would result in lots of people always joining parties with other players, rather then using henchmen; an increased sense of teamwork would do nothing but good for the players. In real life, people could start a conversation with anyone, and know that they have Guild Wars in common. Rather then simply "using" Guild Wars to make the world better, I would simply let it be, and watch things get better on their own. People would connect easier. People could keep in touch easier. A player in the game could easily see how many other fun players were out there, and as a result, would get out of the house more often, with the knowledge that there were people in real life that you could get along with. The opposite would be true; if you could make friends in real life, then it stands to reason you could do the same in the game. The end result? An entire world's worth of people, all with something in common to talk about... breaking down language barriers using simple in-game terms.

[[Image:Ruricu-sig.png]] ( Talk • Contribs)
If I could spread Guild Wars to the world, I would include inside the box a loaded .22 pistol. This pistol would have instructions for firing scribed on the inside of the barrel. As such, Darwinian survival of the fittest would play out and the Whammo would be no more. It's as simple as that.

[[Image:Thoughtful-new-sig.jpg]]

 * If I had to spread Guild Wars to the world? Hmm... First I would get a rocket, a giant baseball bat, an orange, five and a half inches of tape (has to be EXACT!!!), a purple flying monkey, giant sunglasses, the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM for short), a XXXXXXXXXXXXXXL plain white t-shirt, 52,910,312,121,758,238,573,882,948 specks of dust (plan ruined with too much or too little), Rick Astly, a YouTube account, a camera, a tracker and the show preview button. Then I would Fill the t-shirt with with the dust, and use the tape to seal it shut. I would use the camera film what I'm doing. I would give the FSM the giant sunglasses and the filled T-Shirt. He would go upwards, the sunglasses keeping the sun from damaging his eyes and then drop the T-shirt. I would hit it with the giant baseball bat, using the show preview to get the perfect angle, to fly out to outer space. I would put the Purple Flying Monkey and Rick Astly in the rocket, and launch the rocket and make it follow the tracer. I would give them an orange to live on, and if by some miracle they survive, and land on an alien planet, Rick Astly could Rickroll the aliens. Then I would put a bill board in every country advertising Guild Wars.

Dashface [[Image:Dashface icon.gif|27px]]
Many valuable lessons are learned when playing Guild Wars, and, if I could spread this product to the world, I would be glad to know that people from every nation were being taught the following:

Legal matters

 * Don't give candy canes to people who support the death penalty.
 * Trading your domestic currency for gold is a serious offence.
 * Manufacturing bracelets is also against the law.
 * There is no satisfactory reason to allow the convenient auctioning of goods.
 * "Experts" is another term for second-best.

Romance

 * Orphans are attractive.
 * If a girl is too young for you, wait eight years: she will age and you will not.
 * Even Mesmers have trouble getting picked up, so self-enhancement procedures may be necessary.

Other tips
While those without computers would have difficulty deriving the full benefit of the above, the included instruction booklets would promote literacy and a healthy suspicion of Varesh.-- Dashface  10:26, 30 April 2008 (UTC)
 * If you want to be a true survivor, get into fistfights with short people.
 * Cauterizing wounds is surprisingly dangerous!
 * All legendary cartographers copy the maps of other cartographers.
 * Cheaters dominate professional motorsports.
 * Hosts get annoyed if you zone out during their parties.
 * Sugar is a performance-enhancing substance that can make one run up to 50% faster. All Olympians should be tested.
 * It takes five standard drinks to get drunk, and drunkeness only lasts five minutes.

[[Image:Isk8.png]]
This has been pretty hard for me to ponder over the past few days. Heck, after reading some of the responses, I almost didn’t want to try to enter my own. And I also didn’t want to read some of the responses, as to not allow them to influence my own. But here goes…

If I were to introduce the world to Guild Wars, I would first give every major world power a specific build in Guild Wars, in which they would have to follow and live by, as best portrayed by their personality in history.


 * America would be the I-Way. Because everyone knows, whenever an American dies, the rest of his allies somehow become stronger and more determined to “avenge him”.


 * Japan would be the EoE Bomb. Taking their own lives in order to take out the rest of thyne enemies.


 * Korea would use some sort of Marksmanship and Wilderness Survival build to fit their jungle warfare style of fighting, and have a strong backline of Protection Prayers Monks. They may also invest into Beast Mastery in order to send their companions at the enemies with a bomb strapped to their chest.


 * Germany would use the Deadly Arts Assassin – Dark Prison, Shroud of Silence (Pre nerf), Black Spider Strike, Vampiric Assault, and Impale. Blitzkrieg Ftw!?


 * France would specialize in the Paragon Command line utilizing such skills as "Fall Back!", "Help Me!", "Make Haste!", and Godspeed. They are never seen using skills such as, "Never Give Up!", "Never Surrender!", and "Stand Your Ground!".


 * England would be Water Magic Elementalists using plenty of snare skills to try to keep their enemies from ever landing on their shores.


 * Mexico would use a combination of trappers revolving around Dust Trap (possibly Echo / Arcane Echo), and Choking Gas.


 * China would definitely be the Minion Master. If their troops get killed, they have more than enough people to use as replacements.  Never ending allies?


 * Iraq would be Fire Elementalists that primarily use Flare and Fireball. They would have Meteor and Meteor Shower but would never use them because no one has proven that they actually have “nukes”.


 * Taiwan players find themselves at a disposition, as the Taiwanese government refuses to join the Guild Wars United Nations. As a result, all Taiwanese players now find themselves as part of America by default, thus screwing over their government and their lack of cooperation.


 * All countries would find themselves as equals in the arms market, as an update gives all players the opportunity to acquire max damage weaponry for re-completing content that most of the world already had done 3 years earlier.


 * We would still give all the countries of the world a choice in which god(s) they worship, though any who are found worshiping “Evil Gods” may end up sending the whole world spiraling into darkness in which, we will inevitably prevail over.

With all of this set in place, the world as a whole would realize that no one is better than anyone else is; it is all in how we use our skills. In any instance, any one side could come out victorious over the other side. It all depends on the circumstance, and who teams up against who. We would never truly have world peace, but as long as the rules of warfare didn’t change every 2 weeks, we might just all get along.

Name

 * Your answer here

User:PanSola (talk to the [[Image:follower of Lyssa.png]])

 * If I could spread GW to the world, I would use that influence to preach the greatness of Mistress Lyssa to every GW player, so that our most wonderful goddess will bestow Beauty upon everyone in the world. Not just physical Beauty, but the Beauty of the Heart too.  And with everyone a Beautiful person inside-out, we'll achieve World Peace!

[[Image:AlariSig.png]]

 * If I could spread guild wars to the world I would put it into the hands of all the militants, terrorists, pissed of redneks, homicidal clowns, and cats. Spending time smacking around n00bs in RA will keep them away from smacking around people in what I hear is called "real life".

[[Image:Entrea Sumatae.png|Entrea Sumatae]]Entrea [Talk] 22:32, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

 * I would introduce Guild Wars to the world in order to encourage close cooperation, and to unite all of humanity against evil, godlike rulers, megalomaniacs with a plauge-ridden zombie army, and evil cat people (Furries).

Entropy
If I could spread Guild Wars to the world, I would make Izzy bureaucrat and watch as World War Three started. Then I would claim Antarctica as New Ascalon; it's just a barren wasteland so a single Gold Req9 15^50 20/20 +30 Fort Crystalline Sword is probably more than enough. Prince Rurik would be promoted to Supreme Ruler of the Universe and rule with an iron fist - no one would dare oppose the might of Stormcaller! (Dagnar Stonepate never really killed him; Undead Prince Rurik is just a re-skinned Executioner as I have proven on his talkpage.) The movie Fashion of the Charr II: Crucify This would be compulsory viewing every anniversary of New Ascalon's founding, to remind the populace of the horrors they were liberated from. The national anthem would become "For Ascalon!":

Come to the fore, O sons of Ascalon, We fight once more, the battle lines are drawn. Now join the men who live to guard us all, Go and defend atop the Northern Wall. Fear not the cost, whether in blood or gold, Mourn not the lost, though they will not grow old. If here they fall, we know they shall live on, When e'er you call or cry, "For Ascalon!" "For Ascalon!"''

The rest of the cabinet would be comprised of...
 * Kilroy Stonekin, Department of Education;
 * Turai Ossa, Commander of the Armed Forces;
 * Cynn, Minister of Foreign Affairs;
 * Gwen, Department of Xenophobia;
 * Vekk, Public Relations Manager;
 * Vael, Department of Internal Security;
 * And PanSola, technical support:

"From your description, it sounds like a tablet PC with a misconfigured setting. Unfortunately I have no experience with tablets.  Turn your screen 90 degrees in the mean time until the problem is solved. -User:PanSola (talk to the ) 11:17, 12 April 2008 (UTC)"

Finally, RA would replace the Electoral College as the means for choosing political leaders. After all, all's fair in love, war, and politics!

(T/C) 16:22, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

Rules

 * There are no rules! All you need is to upload/steal a picture of yourself/someone who might look a bit like you, but better.
 * They will be divided between Male, Female, and Other.

1st Prize (One Person)

 * 5k
 * A MTG card commemorating your victory!

2nd Prize (One Person)

 * An ecto

3rd Prize (Two People)

 * Merki's Gaze/Zelnehlun's Longbow

Runner Up (Two People)

 * An I have the power! inscription.

Most fake looking picture (One Person)

 * Miniature Fungal Wallow

Picture most likely to change the sexual tendencies of others (One Person)

 * Another Miniature Fungal Wallow, and a Totem Axe

Most fearless competitor (One Person)

 * 1 (one) FAVOR from me. (Approximate retail value: 30k)

Females

 * 1) [[Image:Maui_sig.png]]
 * 2) &mdash;[[Image:MaySig.png|Hello]] Warw/Wick
 * 3) what? vs maui? ar! need to upload a sexier pic anyway. also, remember i is sysop. &mdash;♥ Jedi ♥ Rogue ♥ 00:53, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Well, since I am the hottest person on GWW and GW this should be simple lol  Shadowphoenix 
 * 5) My friend Shadowcrest
 * 6) Well, I guess that I'll throw myself in the ring too....hehehe ;-)BunBun 02:43, 25 April 2008 (UTC)

Males

 * 1) [[Image:Ruricu-sig.png]]
 * 2) Anyone who uploads a picture gets banned. [[Image:Felix_Omni_Signature.png]] 02:45, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I'm a ninja doll, what else could be cuter? [[Image:Thoughtful-new-sig.jpg]] Thoughtful 03:19, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Sure, why not. I'll be using a slightly manipulated image, by the way. --[[image:GEO-logo.png]] Jïörüjï Ðērākō.> .cнаt^  10:59, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Do I have a dashing face? -- Dashface [[Image:Dashface.png]] 16:08, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) I'm doing it wrong![[Image:Ereanorsign.jpg]]reanor 02:32, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Ehh Wtf... -- [[Image:Isk8.png]] Sk8 (T / C)

Other

 * 1) [[Image:Entrea Sumatae.png|Entrea Sumatae]]Entrea
 * 2) PanSola
 * 3) [[Image:AlariSig.png]]
 * 4) [[Image:Entropy Sig.jpg]] (T/C)

Pictures
Look at the sexyness that prevails throughout Gwiki, sponsored by MoaCard®.

Females

 * [[Image:Maui_GigasContest.jpg|80px]]-Maui
 * [[Image:The Real May.jpg|80px]]-May
 * [[Image:JR Beauty Contest.jpg|80px]]-JediRogue
 * [[Image:The Real Shadowphoenix.jpg|80px]]-Shadowphoenix
 * [[Image:Shadowcrest's friend.jpg|80px]]-Shadowcrest('s friend)
 * [[Image:bunbun-pic.jpg|80px]]-BunBun

Males

 * [[Image:Lil-ninja.jpg|80px]]-Thoughtful
 * [[Image:Turai Ossa (Ghost).jpg|80px]]-Ruricu
 * [[Image:aka Jioruji Derako.jpg|80px]]-Jioruji Derako
 * [[Image:User_Dashface_Twins.jpg|80px]]-Dashface
 * [[Image:Ereanor GigaContest picture.jpg|80px]]-Ereanor
 * [[Image:Isk8-GigaContest.jpg|80px]]-Isk8

Other

 * [[Image:Entrea iz beautiful.jpg|80px]]-Entrea Sumatae
 * [[Image:Tasty Pansola.jpg|80px]]--PanSola
 * [[Image:Alari.png|70px]]-Alari
 * [[Image:Evil Cat.jpg|80px]]- Entropy