User:Yikey/Rants & Ramblings

Before I start typing until my fingers start bleeding liver chunks, I'd like to warn any hip hop, death/black metal, electronic music fans. Cheers.

Rap?
So I'm sitting watching some television; eagerly changing channels for something decent. And suddenly a 17 year old "rap star" pops up singing about how much "bitches and money he haz". Normally, I'm not bothered by this. But then it hit me. A seventeen year old singing about "bitches 'n hoes"? And people ENJOY THIS? This is not be crackin', yo. For I cannot possibly see how people can listen to talking while someone presses the "Sound Similiar To Clapping" button. Over and over. The whole fucking time.

I know that rap is SUPPOSED to be about how hard street-life is, how they must fight to survive. I respect that, 'cause I listen to the reason not the song. Hell, I can even listen to a 50 Cent song when he started. "Many Men" is an example. Sure, I'm not listening to it 24/7, no, I listen to music ranging from blues to hardcore punk. But that's not the point.

Upon hearing "Soulja Boy" I felt like I was ass-raped with a cactus by mainstream music. And I'm pretty fucking sure every rapper that started in the 70s feels the same way I do. I'm missing the point of rap nowadays. Last time I checked music videos with Ferraris and girls in skimpy outfits aren't really "tough street-life".

It still amazes me that people in our society wear such poser-like clothes just because they are influenced by rap.

Death/Black Metal?
I'm not seeing this as genres, I think it's more comedy. Because what's more funny than a guy screaming his lungs out under the presence of 2-3 heavy distorted guitar? I dunno how "fans" can say "DUUUUUDE THEY R SINGIGN ABOOT TEH GHOVURMMANT" when all I hear is "NEEKA KORPA". For all what I know, black metal is the creation of when Hardcore Punk and Heavy Metal rape the razors out of a gay emo. Seriously. Guys. Wearing make-up. Screaming in twitchy high voices. I think the word for that is somewhere between "tranny" and "homosexual".

But then there's the tough guy death metal. "HURRRRR I AM SINGING ABOUT YOU NEED TO RAPE LIMBLESS KADAVERS >:(". Well, normally I'll say something nasty about it as a whole. But I won't, since the lyrics aren't that bad. The music is. Remove all bellowing low voices and the distorted guitars and add a lounge player with a keyboard and someone with a double bass. Now imagine that guy singing a song about dismembering, raping and/or genocide. Catchy, no? Exactly.

Everytime I see someone wearing "tough guy make-up >:(" I just laugh. And even though he'll try and remove my soul in a bellowing voice, I'll still laugh.

Electronic?
''Look at me! I'm pressing a button on a computer whilst twiggling with the tone switch. New genre was discovered!'' Yikey's face was, due to an unknown reflex, smashed into his left hand at an amazing speed of 80 mph because he, only he, felt the shame.

Sure, "electronic" music can be enjoyable to dance to in discos, can be suitable soundtracks for 1970s porn movies and MIGHT, I repeat, MIGHT be fun to get laid to. But for the rest, I grab my cheeks and want to rip them off my head everytime I see an uneducated poser with his "gangsta frnz" (bff, more like). But it gets worse, let me show you with something neato.

I SWEAR TO A RIGHTEOUS GOD (IF THERE IS ANY) THE FOLLOWING:

IF I EVER BUY MYSELF A SET OF BOXES FOR MY MP3 (old skool yeye) I WILL MAKE SURE THE TABLES ARE TURNED.

Rock?
Don't get me wrong, I love rock. But I just don't understand the concept of it sometimes. Sure, songs from Jeff Healey, Rush and The Beatles makes sense, but what about bands like The Misfits? What is their purpose? Last time I checked screaming wearing make-up in a rap-like rythem wasn't really "enjoyable". (For me, anyway.) Or bands that classify themselves as "emo" (when it's nothing more than punk mixed with indie) and sing about how hateful life is. I don't get it. Why make our lives miserable with your crappy music when there's a thing called a gun?

In the 80s, everything was good. Everyone knows that. Then came glam metal, and I doubt it was still good. Sure, Wham! was awesome. Makes everything upbeat. But sadly, the whole point of peaceful/meaningful rock suddenly went on vacation and was replaced with a guy with a leather pants, hair almost frozen solid with hairspray and tattooes. Strange.

Heading back to the 70s, everything was gnarly. The chance of a stoned hippy appearing naked at your doorstep was almost as big as you waking up because a beginning wannabe-Aerosmith band starts playing waaaay too early. Then came punk. And everything was lousy. People were almost rapping without melody in their guitars. They was banging the drums too hard, they was. (Though the bass finally saw the light). Don't get me wrong, The Clash? Dead Kennedys? Sex Pistols? That's awesome punk. Riggin'. The others just plain suck.