User:Matrim/JokeTime

Joke Time!
Two aliens come to Earth. Upon landing they see a closed gas station, no people are around so they assume that the gas pumps are the primary form of life on Earth. One of the aliens, we'll call him Smith, goes up to one of the pumps and says, "Greetings, take me to your leader." The gas pump, in regular gas-pump fashion does not respond. Smith, thinking the gas pump didn't hear him says again "Take me to your leader." Still nothing. Smith is starting to get angry you see, and with a tone of aggravation says. "TAKE me to your leader." The gas pump stays stoically quiet, and Smith starts shaking with rage, the other alien, lets call him Herbert, says to Smith, "I don't think this is a good idea." Smith ignores Herbert and says, quite angrily "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!" The gas pump remains silent. Herbert, seeing Smith pull out his weapon, says "I REALLY don't think thats a good idea." Smith ignores him again, and screams "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!!!" and upon not receiving an answer from the gas pump, proceeds to fire his weapon at it. The resulting explosion flings the aliens a couple hundred yards away and knocks them unconscious. When the aliens wake up Smith says to Herbert "How did you know not to shoot it?" and Herbert sagely replies "Its a basic principle. You don't fuck with people who can take their dick, wrap it around themselves twice and stick it in their ear."