User:Gigathrash

==Rollback, need to finish eventually== Rollback concepts so far:
 * 1) Id=[[Image:Rollerbeetle Racer Dance.gif|98px]] px needs to be fixed. Text=Repent Vandals!  This user has been endowed with the powers of rolling!
 * Color Scheme:White on pic, lightblue background on text, blue border, white text.


 * 1) Id=STEAM ROLLED Text=Soshite toki ga ugoki dasu.
 * Color Scheme: Red and black probably.


 * 1) Id=My Name is   Rick Astley. Text=Prepare to be rolled.
 * Color Scheme: Grey background, black border, black text.


 * 1) Id=[[Image:Rollback Damacy.jpg|98px]] Text=HOLY CRAP I JUST ROLLED OVER AN ENTIRE VANDAL'S CONTRIBUTIONS!
 * Color Scheme: White back ground on pic, something on text, psychedelic text, green border.

A Brief history of everything. As told by Gigathrash In the beginning, their was nothing. Which exploded. Then there was everything. Lots of big cosmic stuff happened, planetarity and starlarity where had by all. Except for a couple little golf balls out in the middle of nowhereville, Milkway. There was a star. And around that star wobbled 9ish planets. The first two where too hot to live on, and no one liked them anyway. The 3rd one was a destitute brown ball of pollution populated by primates in odd clothes. Then there are a bunch of other ones no one cares about, and Pluto. Who is the emo planet, because it doesn't get to be a planet anymore.Anyway, back to the third planet.Originally it had been a smoldering inhospitable crater filled hell like catastrophe with only two starbuckses (per square mile) Things went downhill from there. Little floaty things, to larger floaty things, to floaty things that can walk, to floaty things that can walk and think, and then less floaty things that neither walk nor think much at all. This is what we know as Evolution. Darwin probably fucked like a minx... In other news, its 1956, the USA & Others just finished handing Japan and Germany their own asses on platters, and they get a letter from the Jews of the world: Stop fucking us up for eternity plzkthnk --Jews. So USA (& Others) says: Ok, get out the map of the world and my dart set. They threw darts at the board for 7 days and 7 nights, then they fell asleep, the janitor came in, and took down all the darts except one, and that's where Israel was built. But the Palistinians where all like: WTF man? I live here But USA (&others) was like: GTFO its Jewland Israel now! And Palistinians where like: D: Maaan, this sucks. But then the USA (&others) went and had cake. Then the USA ran the world for ~20 years until USSR was all like: Dude, Imma gonna send a guy into space, K? And USA was like: WTF? Space? Lol, gtfo.And USSR was like: Sputnik, bitch. And USA was like: Fuck. So they shoot a guy out a big cannon and he wandered around on the moon, had bad grammar, and lulz where had by all. Then the USA was like: USSR, BEGONE! And the USSR was like: D:  *dies* And then USA ruled the world for a bit more and Bush was elected. USA:Whats the worst that can go wrong? Twin Towers: NUUUUUH! 3X Terrorists: KEKEKEKE! PLANE RUSH! Warlarity ensues and lulz where had by no one. Then & Others said: Wait, we don't even get to be named even when we have a speaking part? 3: And Narrator said:No. So & Others was totally bummed out, and became An Hero. Then the rest of the world /raged USA and was hatin'. And USA was like: WTF happened? And the rest of the world was like: You happened man. And USA was like: D:  Fuck, who can we blame? And Bush was like: Oh, 8 years is up, I'm outta here, NIGGAHS! And Obama was like: I'm gonna need more Aleve. A Psychoanalysis of Gigathrash: It all starts out with baby seals. Add an infinite amount of capital, expendable labor, and neurotoxins. ??? And you get Gigathrash. So basically in equation form: Baby Seals+∞(Capital•Labor(Expendable)•Neurotoxins}+???=Gigathrash Additionally, an interesting observation is that: Gigathrash=Hate Also, Gigathrash=Rage(Penultimate) However, Hate=/=Rage(Penultimate) This leads us to believe that the ??? variable in the creation of Gigathrash is either an imaginary number, or some incomprehensible variable. Current leading theories are, The Insanity Factor, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or i. Many other theories not based in science have also popped up. Including Gigathrash is a sophisticated machine sent back from the future to stop the destruction of man. However, a circuit exploded, leading Gigathrash to the conclusion that since man was self destructive, the only way to stop mans destruction, is to destroy man. This theory has been refuted many times by the government of the USA. Additionally, a popular rumor has been going around that Gigathrash is actually a Russian spy. However, the people who support this theory usually also think the lunar landing was faked, and have been tossed rather uncaringly into the loony bin. Machine, Monster, or Macabre Maniac, the truth of Gigathrash is unknown currently. Democracy, schmocracy, give me a good hard dictator any day.

100% ripped straight for The Nerdy Daphne Wannabe.

Ok, back to work.

Chain --> Intro--> Choose Prof--> Gender? Nein, make it male whatever you do. Except for Ranger. Railroading ftw! Each prof has individual storyline. Monk-->Save random village from asshattery of random bad guy. Heroe's Epic, First Person. Necromancer-->Discover a new skill through experimentation. Research Journal. Warrior-->Hunting the dreaded rabbit. Picture book. Ranger-->Apprentice /saving master. Memoir. Mesmer-->Dancing King. Lyrical form. SUUUUUUNGS (battle). Elementalist-->Evil guy taking over a small province in cantha. Spartan Effect. Assassin-->Local assassin stalking a prey. Heavy description, but little detail. First Person. Ritualist-->Rit fouled up summoning and got sucked into the underworld. Told in radio format. (Drink more Ovaltine) Paragon-->Dance! WOOO! Nothing left for me to do but DANCE. AKA DDR. (Saving world from meteor/space alien invasion) HOW. Good question, lets answer that later. Dervish-->... Wow, super blank. DUN DUN DUN!!!! Don't call me again. Or I'll make sure you won't call anyone ever again. You are currently being oppressed subvertly. That's what he said.

This page is over 45,000 characters long. Believe it. Want to see everything? Too fawking bad! >:D Keep refreshing, eventually it'll work. I wouldn't consider myself an optimist. I just try not to think about the more depressing parts of life Why? Because I don't have to gloat over my own handiwork.

{clear}}

SUUUUUUUNGS!
Hellfire EyS3weMlxLA Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd Then tell me, Maria Why I see her dancing there Why her smoldering eyes still scorch my soul I feel her, I see her The sun caught in raven hair Is blazing in me out of all control Like fire Hellfire This fire in my skin This burning desire Is turning me to sin It's not my fault I'm not to blame It is the gypsy girl The witch who sent this flame It's not my fault If in God's plan He made the devil so much Stronger than a man Protect me, Maria Don't let this siren cast her spell Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone Destroy Esmeralda And let her taste the fires of Hell Or else let her be mine and mine alone Hellfire Dark fire Now gypsy, it's your turn Choose me or Your pyre Be mine or you will burn God have mercy on her God have mercy on me But she will be mine Or she will burn! Everytime we Touch sHQqGiyVLys I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me. I still feel your touch in my dreams. Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why. Without you it's hard to survive. Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling. And everytime we kiss I swear I can fly. Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last. Need you by my side. Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static. And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky. Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go. Want you in my life. Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky. They wipe away tears that I cry. The good and the bad times, we've been through them all. You make me rise when I fall. Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling. And everytime we kiss I swear I can fly. Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last. Need you by my side. Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static. And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky. Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go. Want you in my life Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling. And everytime we kiss I swear I can fly. Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last. Need you by my side Sex! (Over the Phone) MANY sexual references 8hYtUYiuzkw What's your credit card number? 69667113. "Your phone number?" "7 51-61 77". What's your fantasy? I just wanna speak to a very hot one. "We'll call you back". Sex (sex!) over the phone Sex (sex!) over the phone Sex (sex!) over the phone Sex (sex!) over the phone Well I just want to say: Lately I smile all day Lately I'm never down lately I never frown. At home or in the car Don't matter where you are Don't wanna be alone you just pick up the phone. Sex (sex!) over the phone - You know I like it. Sex (sex!) over the phone - You know I need it. Sex over the phone - Come on and give it to me baby. Sex (sex!) over the phone. When I want to take a ride I don't have to go outside. I don't need to dress if I'm feeling lazy. I can lie there in my bed painting pictures in my head. I just touch my princess and I go crazy. Sex (sex!) over the phone - In the morning. Sex (sex!) over the phone - In the afternoon. Sex over the phone - Sometimes late in the evening. Sex (sex!) over the phone. This is the part I hate why do they make you wait? Here's where the fevers rise enough to cross my eyes. They can be short or tall they can be white or black. I don't care not at all long as they call me back. Sex (sex!) over the phone - It's so fulfilling. Sex (sex!) over the phone - They're always willing. Sex over the phone - Don't break connection baby. Sex (sex!) over the phone. Hello? Hello, baby, it's me, your fantasy. What's your name? Who cares? Just care about my body. What do you look like? Hot, I look very hot. Sex (sex!) over the phone - My private mind Sex (sex!) over the phone - Will make you mine Sex over the phone - I need it baby Sex (sex!) over the phone. If it's loving that you need satisfaction guaranteed It won't cost that much for you to start talking It's a very small amount on your credit card account Come on let your fingers do the talking! American Boy Mature Content M6tQZ1InfHI Dis is da numba one champion sound Yeah, Estelle we 'bout to get down We da hottest in the world right now. Just touched down in London town. Bet they give me a pound. Better put the money in my hand right now. Tell the promoter we need more seats, We just sold out all the floor seats. Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day. Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA. I really want to, come pick it with you. You'll be my American Boy. He said, Hey Sister. It's really really nice to meet ya. I just met this 5 foot 7 guy who's just my type. Like the way he speak here, his confidence is peaking. Don't like his baggy jeans but I'm a like what's underneath them. And no I ain't been to MIA I heard that Cali never rains and New York's wide awake. But first let's see the west end. I'll show you to my bedroom. I'm like this American Boy. American Boy. Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA. I really want to come pick it with you. You'll be my American Boy. American Boy. Can we get away this weekend. Take me to Broadway. Let's go shopping maybe then we'll go to a Cafe. Let's go on the subway. Take me to your hood. I neva been to Brooklyn and I'd like to see what's good. Dress in all your fancy clothes. Sneaker's looking Fresh to death I'm lovin' those Shell Toes. Walkin' that walk. Talk that slick talk. I'm likin' this American Boy. American Boy. Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day. Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA. I really want to come pick it with you. You'll be my American Boy. Let them know a gwan blud Who killin' em in the UK. Everybody gonna to say you K, reluctantly, Because most of this press don't fuck with me. Estelle once said to me, cool down down Don't act a fool now now. I always act a fool oww oww. Ain't nothing new now now. He crazy, I know what ya thinkin'. White Pino I know what you're drinkin'. Rap singer. Chain Blinger. Holla at the next chick soon as you're blinkin. What's you're persona, About this Americana Rhymer. Am I shallow cause all my clothes designer. Dressed smart like a London Bloke. Before he speak his suit bespoke. And you thought he was cute before. Look at this P Coat, Tell me he's broke. And I know you're not into all that. I heard your lyrics I feel your spirit. But I still talk that CAAASH. Cause a lot wags wanna hear it. And I'm feelin' like Mike at his Baddest. The Pips at they Gladys. And I know they love it. So to hell with all that rubbish. Would you be my love, my love. Could be mine Would you be my love my love, Could you be mine Could you be my love, my love. Would you be my American Boy. American Boy Take me on a trip I'd like to go some day Take me to Chicago, San Francisco Bay I really want to, come pick it with you You'll be my American boy Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA. I really want to come kick it with you. You'll be my American Boy La da da, da da, de da La da da, da da, de da American boy Your power level isn't high enough to listen to my music. Up There U79smcCU-7s Sometimes I think, when I look up real high That there is such a big world up there I'd like to give it a try. But then I sink, cuz it is here I'm supposed to stay. But I get so lonely down here, tell me why's it have to be that way? Up there, there is so much room, where babies burp and flowers bloom. Everyone dreams, I can dream too. Up there, up where the skies are ocean blue. I can be safe and live without a care, up there They say I don't belong I must stay below alone. Because of my beliefs I'm supposed to stay where evil is sown But what is evil anyway? is there reason to the rhyme? Without evil there can be no good, So it must be good to be evil sometimes. Up there, there is so much room, where babies burp and flowers bloom. Everyone dreams, I can dream too. Up there, up where the skies are ocean blue. I can be safe and live without a care live without a care If only I coud live up there. I wanna live I wanna live up there Ooh baby, ooh I want to live up there. Love Ninja (The Stalker Song, Mature Language) blZnm4X2ebs The waiting room, what a place for our first kiss. Isn't it weird that we both have the same therapist? All my time with you is so precious. I know we'll probably wind up being Mister an Misses. 'Cause I wined and dined you at 'The Ritz', remember that? Oh, I drank so much I got the shits, remember that? I got you that facial, then that massage, what about that? But you never would let me get you a colonic. It's just a plastic tube they stick up your butt

helps clean out the pipes

What was up with that? Whatever... I'm not stalking you, I'm just calling a lot. I'm not trying to upset you - I'm not. Who's this Kevin guy I think I should know? I didn't give up three weeks of my life just to let you go. Oh no, I don't give up that easy. Come on, I think we could work it out, see? For nineteen days we were in love you fucking bitch. Oh my god, what did I just say? I didn't mean it. But you took the dog and all the booze, and I got jack. Hey, y'know those Betsy Johnson skirts and Prada shoes, I want those back. Give'em all back to me, 'cause you know what? I'll fuckin' wear'em. I'm not stalking you, I'm just calling a lot. I'm not trying to freak you out - I'm not. Oh, I saw that Kevin guy, thought you should know. He seems nice, but it's time for him to go. That's right, I think he should get out of the picture right quick. In fact, y'know what? I think the man should do suck my dick. What should he do boys? Suck his dick. I'm fine alone, don't worry about me. I said I'm fine. You don't understand, but I know that you're still mine. We've got the perfect relationship - In my head. I'm talking about the voices I hear, that's what they said! Ya, they, told me that neither of us are right. We're both wrong, your just a little more wrong. Your wronger, alot wronger. I'm not stalking you, I'm just calling a lot. I'm not going to fucking rape you or anything - Seriously I'm not. Oh, where's that Kevin guy? Have they found him yet? Y'know they're looking in the totally wrong place - I bet. 'f course, how would I know? I don't know!

Oh, I finally got the guy to suck my dick. Yeah, why don't both of you suck my dick? 皇女さまとお呼びッ (Call Me Princess (bondage)) v-RDlZE92rM Japanese lyrics. Last Resort (Mature Language) mh2SVuX03h4 Cut my life into pieces This is my last resort Suffocation No breathing Dont give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding This is my last resort Cut my life into pieces Ive reached my last resort Suffocation No breathing Dont give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding Do you even care if I die bleeding Would it be wrong Would it be right If I took my life tonight Chances are that I might Mutilation outta sight And Im contemplating suicide Cuz Im losing my sight Losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me Im fine Losing my sight Losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me Im fine I never realized I was spread too thin Till it was too late And I was empty within Hungry Feeding on chaos And living in sin Downward spiral where do I begin It all started when I lost my mother No love for myself And no love for another Searching to find a love up on a higher level Finding nothing but questions and devils Cuz Im losing my sight Losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me in fine Losing my sight Losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me Im fine Nothings alright Nothing is fine Im running and Im crying Im crying Im crying Im crying Im crying I cant go on living this way Cut my life into pieces This is my last resort Suffocation No breathing Dont give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding Would it be wrong Would it be right If I took my life tonight Chances are that I might Mutilation outta sight And Im contemplating suicide Cuz Im losing my sight Losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me Im fine Losing my sight Losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me Im fine Nothings alright Nothing is fine Im running and Im crying I cant go on living this way Cant go on Living this way Nothings alright The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun (80's) b8hxCpAdCJI It was Homecoming Night at my high school Everyone was there, it was totally cool I was real excited, I almost wet my jeans 'Cause my best friend Debbie was Homecoming Queen She looked so pretty in pink chiffon. (Chiffon) Riding the float with her tiara on. (Tiara on) Holding this humongous bouquet in her hand. (Bouquet) She looked straight out of Disneyland! You know that Cinderella ride I mean definitely an E-ticket. (E-ticket) The crowd was cheering, everyone was stoked I mean it was like the whole school was totally coked or something. The band was playing 'Evergreen' Then all of a sudden, somebody screamed: Look out! The Homecoming Queen's got a GUN!!! Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen has got a gun! Debbie's smiling, and waving her gun Picking off cheerleaders one by one Oh! Buffy's pom poms just blew to bits Oh no, Misty’s head just did the splits! My best friend is on a shooting spree Stop it, Debbie, you're embarrassing me! How could you do what you just did Are you having a really bad period? Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen has got a gun! Stop it, Debbie, you're making a mess Powder burns all over your dress An hour later, ,the cops had arrived By then the entire glee club had died - no big loss You wouldn't believe what they brought to stop her Tear gas, machine guns... even a chopper! Throw down your gun and tiara and come out of that float! Debbie didn't listen to what the cop said, She aimed and fired, and now the math teacher's dead! Oh, it's really sad, but kinda of a relief, I mean we had this big test coming up next week... Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen has got a gun! Debbie's really having a blast! She's wasting half of the class! The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off that float. I tried to scream Duck! but it stuck in my throat. She hit the ground and did a flip; it was real acrobatic. But I was crying so hard, I couldn't work my Instamatic. I ran down to Debbie, I had to find out. What made her do it, why'd she freak out? I saw the bullet had got her right in the ear. I knew then... the end was near. So I ran down and said in her good ear. Debbie, why’d you do it? She raised her head and smiled and said. I did it for Johnny. Johnny, well like who's Johnny? Answer me Debbie who's Johnny. Does anybody here know a Johnny? Are you Johnny? There was one guy named Johnny. But he was a total geek. He always had food in his braces. Answer me Debbie who's Johnny. Oh God this is like that movie Citizen Kane You know where you later find out Rosebud was a sled But we’ll never know who Johnny is because like she’s dead Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen’s got a gun! Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen has got a Everybody run Everybody run the Homecoming Queen’s got a The Downtrodden Song (1230 people just died during the time it takes you to read this) No video available. D: Everything is horrible, yeah, really really really terrible I'm really depressed, I'm really downtrodden I'm downtrodden square uh-huh The whole world is doomed, yeah. We're all gonna die. 25,472 people die every single minute uh-huh oh yeah Seventeen hundred and fifty people just died Cancer, death, AIDS, inflation, taxes, George Bush Hell, Satan, cancer of the face Cancer of the colon Cancer of the wrist And John Denver on compact disc Oh Voices in my Head (Their coming for you... Mature Language) Cq53JYNAYpk I WANT YOU TO GET A GUN AND HEAD ON DOWN TO WASHINGTON. I WANT YOU TO CLIMB UP HIGH HIGH IN THE SKY AND SHOOT THEM ALL. TH-TH-THEY DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE. WHAT DID THEY EVER GIVE TO YOU? NA NA NA NA NA SPOKEN: YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO I WANT YOU TO GO UPSTAIRS TO THAT APARTMENT WHERE THAT GUY KEEPS PLAYING THAT BARRY MANILOW RECORD COPACABANA OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I WANT YOU TO RING THE DOORBELL, AND WHEN HE ANSWERS THE DOOR, I WANT YOU TO STAB HIM IN THE NECK WITH A NUMBER 2 PENCIL OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN BECAUSE HE MUST PAAAAAYYYYY! CHOP HIM UP AND PUT HIM IN THE FREEZER AND AS YOU LEAVE THE APARTMENT LIGHT THE PLACE ON FIRE! VOICES IN MY HEAD, THESE ARE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD, VOICES IN MY HEAD THESE ARE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD YOU SHOULD DRESS UP LIKE A CLOWN BARK BARK HOWL SPOKEN: HI YOU NEVER CALLED ME BACK. I GOT THE PICTURES BACK FROM THANKSGIVING, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WEAR THAT EARRING IF YOUR FATHER WAS ALIVE I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'D SAY. I WAS TALKING TO MRS. CORELLI YESTERDAY. YOU KNOW BOBBY CORELLI WHO WAS IN YOUR GRADE? HE GOT PROMOTED AGAIN IN HIS LAW FIRM. HE'S MAKING 175,000 A YEAR NOW. ARE YOU ON DRUGS? WHY DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME BACK? WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET MARRIED SON? ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME YOU SETTLED DOWN AND GOT YOURSELF A WIFE AND GOT YOURSELF A HOUSE AND A KID, AND GOT A CAR, AND GOT A DOG, AND GOT A LAWNMOWER, AND GOT A NICE PICKET FENCE.... VOICES IN MY HEAD, THESE ARE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD, VOICES IN MY HEAD THESE ARE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD (THE VOICES IN MY HEAD) WHY, WHY IS IT EVERY TIME I GOTTA WAIT IN FUCKIN' (FUCKIN') LINE? SPOKEN: WHY IS IT EVERY TIME I TURN ON MY TELEVISION SET I GOTTA SEE SALLY STRUTHERS AND THOSE STARVING KIDS? WHY CAN'T SOMEBODY JUST SEND HER A CHECK AND SHUT HER AND THOSE GOD DAMN KIPS UP? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! (WHERE'S ROB REINER WHEN YOU NEED HIM?) WHY, WHY DON'T THEY DROP THE BOMB RIGHT ON TOP OF EVERYONE? NA NA NA NA NA VOICES IN MY HEAD, THESE ARE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD, VOICES IN MY HEAD THESE ARE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD Go to Ishy's page and watch Disco Night. Too late, he removed it. You missed something good. Wood (Probably the only song not rated R+) ILo1v6Y7IB4 You try to multiply your speed by time to get your distance But you don’t see the wood for the trees An experiment with existence Is showing up anomalies You see the day dissolve into the morrow And the slow growing of your second skin Adrenaline begins in the marrow And then intoxicates your oxygen Count one to a hundred and then you are ready to go What do you know What do you say We have an acid chemistry today What do you get What do you like We have a savage energy tonight I’m not the light outside of the window I’m not a damsel in distress I’m not the gold at the end of the rainbow And I am not a lost princess Are you my love, my landlord, my lawyer Are you the one I build my world around Or are we wrapped in black paranoia Ready to attack and take each other down Exactly like Alice in Wonderland now when we grow What do you know What do you say We have an acid chemistry today What do you get What do you like We have a savage energy tonight What do you say We have a savage energy today Oh my dear it’s dark in the dungeon This is where my demons dwell A sign says beware of the dragon But you don’t attend it very well Who was it who said that it’s better the devil you know Oh ain’t it so What do you say We have an acid chemistry today What do you get What do you like We have a savage energy tonight What do you say We have a savage energy today The Rimmer Song! (If you have no idea who Rimmer is, fail less plz) lV17GxTh3Mo If your in trouble he will save the day He's brave and he's fearless come what may Without him the mission would go astray He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer Without him life would be much grimmer He's handsome, trim, and no one's slimmer He will never need a zimmer He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer More Reliable then a garden schrimmer He's never been mistaken for your brimmer He's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer Master of the wit and the repartee His command of space directives is uncanny How come hes such a genius? Don't ask me Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer He's also a fantastic swimmer And if you play your cards right then he might just come along for dinner I never want to see or hear from that scum sucking lying weasel minded smeghead in my entire life I Like a Boy in Uniform (School Uniform) ZgVWc9OZVnM I like a boy in uniform (school uniform) I like a boy in uniform (school uniform) I like a boy in uniform (school uniform) I like a boy in (school uniform) Well I walked past him and I gave him a wink He must think I am sexually impertinent And we’re always colliding like two elements But does he really know me, do I really know him? I should have noticed it before (It wasn't noticeable before) My girlfriends said they saw before Him looking at the boys looking at the boys He likes a boy in uniform (school uniform) He likes a boy in uniform (school uniform) He likes a boy in uniform (school uniform) He likes a boy in (school uniform) Well im so sad cos I loved him so But I think its better that we go with the flow And now I find my outlook isn’t so narrow In lessons I am dreaming bout the girls that I know I like a girl in uniform (school uniform) I like a girl in uniform (school uniform) I like a girl in uniform (school uniform) I like a girl in (school uniform) And now I know bout all of this Theres plenty more that I can kiss And when I think about the bliss Of looking at the girls looking at the girls, looking at the girls I like a girl in uniform (school uniform) I like a boy in uniform (school uniform) Cauze not everything is uniform (school uniform) I wanna kiss everyone in uniform I like a girl in uniform (school uniform) I like a boy in uniform (school uniform) Cos not everything is uniform (school uniform) I wanna kiss everyone in uniform DARE KCy928QJCDE It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's Dare It's Dare (oooh) You've got a press it on you You just think it, That's what you do, baby! Hold it down, DARE. Jump with them all, And move it, Jump back and forth It feels like you were there yourself, And work it out. (oooh) never did no harm never did no harm It's Dare It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's Dare You've got a press it on you You just think it, That's what you do, baby! Hold it down, DARE. Jump with them all, And move it, Jump back and forth It feels like you were there yourself, And work it out. Never did no harm Never did no harm It's Dare It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's Dare You've got a press it on you You just think it, That's what you do, baby! Hold it down, DARE. Jump with them all, And move it, Jump back and forth It feels like you were there yourself, And work it out. Never did no harm Never did no harm It's Dare It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's coming up It's Dare You've got to press it on you. You just to think it. That's what you do, baby. Hold it down, Dare. Jump with them all, And move it, Jump back and forth It feels like you were there yourself, And work it out. You've got to press it on you. You just to think it. That's what you do, baby. Hold it down, Dare. Jump with them all, And move it, Jump back and forth It feels like you were there yourself, And work it out. It's Christmas! (And I wonder where I am) cwIpWz5AZYA At the office Christmas party I started off with a Bacardi I didn't get sauced But right now, I'm lost Its Christmas and I wonder where I am I had a beer at my brother's Had egg nog at my mother's Then two bottles of wine Which automobile is mine? It's Christmas and I wonder where I am Someone caught me dancing with a snowman A policeman came and put me in his car He said, "Are you drunk?" and I said, "No, man, but could you drop me off at the next bar?" I guess my wife must be missing Who's this dog that I'm kissing? They say his name's Spot and he likes me...a lot It's Christmas and I wonder where I am I was looking for a lady I could dance with and so I stood beneath the mistletoes Someone said, "You'll have a better chance if you take that lampshade off and put back on your clothes" A lampshade! Isn't that the best? Time to be going I'm naked...Is it still snowing? It's time I should leave I'll be back New Year's Eve! (It's Christmas and I wonder where I am) (It's Christmas and I wonder where I am) Have you seen my hat? I wouldn't want to freeze What a party! Don't you wish you were me? I'm an Asshole! DPSoYpPj4xE Folks, Id like to sing a song about the American Dream About me, about you About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts Maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub cockle area, Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, we don't know I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job I'm your average white, suburbanite slob I like football and porno and books about war I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor My wife and my job, my kids and my car My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested (oh no, no way, uh uh) No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense (woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah) I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane While people behind me are going insane I'm an asshole (hes an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (hes an asshole, such an asshole) I use public toilets and I piss on the seat I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?" I'm an asshole (hes an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole) Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces While handicapped people make handicapped faces I'm an asshole (hes an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (hes a real fucking asshole) Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song Ranting and raving and carrying on Maybe they're right when they tell me Im wrong Nah I'm an asshole (hes an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (hes the worlds biggest asshole) You know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps And all leather cow interior And make brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah) And I'm gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour Gettin' 1 mile per gallon, Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers And when I'm done sucking down those greeseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag And then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side And there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it You know why, because we've got the bombs, that's why 2 words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK? Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want They can have a big democracy cakewalk Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it wont make a lick of difference Because we've got the bombs, OK?