Trial of Zinn

Description
This is an instanced copy of Vlox's Falls. It can only be accessed by speaking to Chark.

NPCs
The Arcane Council
 * Councilor Lumpys
 * Councilor Mamp
 * Councilor Mintoc
 * Councilor Oola
 * Councilor Troi
 * Councilor Wrex

The Defense
 * M.O.X.
 * Zinn

The Persecution
 * Denn and Krayn

Witnesses
 * Big Machine Krewe Member
 * Brother Mizar
 * Brother Theophilus
 * Hasrah
 * Jade Brotherhood Knight
 * Kolleen Redstone
 * Lexx
 * Lian, Dragon's Petal
 * Machine Krewe Member
 * Prince Bokka the Magnificent
 * Purifier Krewe Member
 * Renk
 * Vabbian Bodyguard
 * Vixx
 * Weapon Krewe Member

Other
 * Blimm
 * Chark
 * G.O.X.
 * Golem Sentry

Dialogue
Chark: You're finally here, bookah. Per Asuran custom, no one may speak to the council, defense, or persecution for the duration of the trial. So, quickly conclude any business you have with them, and step into the witness area when you are ready for us to begin.

Counciler Mamp: This session of the Arcane Council is called to order. We are here to adjucate very serious charges against the Golemancer Zinn, also known as Zinn the Amazing, The Zinnsational Zinn, Supergenius Zinn, Intruder Zinn, and ahem, Mister Zinncompetent.

Zinn: What!? Who calls me that?

Counciler Oola: Everyone does now, genius. But I was the one who started it, if that's what you're wondering.

Counciler Mamp: Oola, enough! The charges against Zinn are as follows: 1. Mathematical turpitude. 2. Gross flummoxery in the first degree. 3. Reckless instigation of mayhem WITHOUT a permit. 4. An overdue library tome. What says the accused?

Zinn: Not guilty on all counts, except perhaps the tome. In my defense, by burning copies of Oola's Guide to Golemancy, I was doing a favor to young, impressionable Asura everywhere.

Counciler Oola: Scoundrel!

Zinn: Hack!

Counciler Oola: Earbiter!

Ten minutes later...

Zinn: Dimwit!

Counciler Oola: Nincompoop!

Twenty minutes later...

Zinn: IGNORAMUS!

Counciler Mamp: Enough of this squabbling. Both of you pipe down now or I'll have the militia tweak your ears. Persecution, your first witness!

Denn and Krayn: Denn and Krayn for the persecution! Let the record reflect there are thirty-two witnesses here ready to testify. With that, the persecution rests.

Zinn: OBJECTION! They can't NOT call the witnesses.

Denn and Krayn: No need. Everyone knows you're guilty.Denn[sic] and Krayn!

Zinn: OBJECTION!

Counciler Mamp: Overruled. In all fairness, Zinn, you are guilty, and I've got research of my own to get back to. Any witnesses for the defense before we convict you?

Zinn: Just myself; that's all I need.

Denn and Krayn: Egomaniac. This is why he thinks it's okay to cause mass chaos and destruction without filing the proper paperwork in advance. Tell us, Zinn, why do you think you're so much better than the rest of us?

Zinn: I didn't say that!

Denn and Krayn: But you think it! Oola's a renowned golemancer, but you say her work is rubbish. Or maybe you're just jealous of her! Now why don't you answer the question?

Zinn: You want answers?

Denn and Krayn: We think we're entitled.

Zinn: YOU WANT ANSWERS?

Denn and Krayn: WE WANT THE TRUTH!

Zinn: You imbeciles are deficient in the cognitive faculties requisite to fully comprehend the truth! Or you're intentionally trying to infuriate me with your idiocy so that I lose my cool and lose the trial, but it won't work because I AM INNOCENT!

Zinn: I burned Oola's tome, but you should thank me for that. I didn't have a permit for the homicidal golems, but most of the mayhem was in human territory, so no permit was required. My mathematics are immaculate, and the only flummoxery going on here is this trial!

Denn and Krayn: Egomaniac. Ego and maniac. They're right there in the word. The persecution rests. Denn and Krayn.

Zinn: OBJECTION! You already rested your case, you nimrods!

Counciler Mamp: THAT'S ENOUGH! Let's hear your closing remarks.

Denn and Krayn: Denn and Krayn. International incident...you all know it. His golems. His responsibility. Simple as that.

Denn and Krayn: It's in his name: guilty as Zinn. Vote guilty, councilors. Denn and Krayn.

Zinn: This entire trial is a farce. Oola feels threatened by my superior golemancy and has called in favors to see me exiled.

Counciler Mamp: Zinn, the time for wild accusations is during oral arguments, not closing statements! You're out of order!

Zinn: I'm out of order? You're out of order! This whole trial is out of order!

Counciler Mamp: Be that as it may, we are the Arcane Council and you will abide by our ruling...once we tabulate our findings. Someone get me an abacus!

5.2708 seconds later...

Counciler Mamp: It is the unanimous finding of the Arcane Council that Zinn is guilty as charged on all counts. Zinn, you are hereby sentenced to banishment from Rata Sum and its subject lands for ten years. Premature repatriation will be punishable by death.

Counciler Mamp: As is customary, the convicted may now make a threatening speech.

Zinn: Listen up, brains for brains, you think you've won a victory against me today, but you are sorely mistaken. Mark my words: This sentence is a greater punishment for you, who will be deprived of my genius, than it is for me, who will be freed from your ignorance.

Zinn: In conclusion, let me paraphrase my great uncle Fenwikk: Fools! I'll show you all!

Trivia

 * Intruder Zinn is likely a reference to Invader Zim.
 * "You imbeciles are deficient in the cognitive faculties requisite to fully comprehend the truth!" basically means "you can't handle the truth". This is probably a reference to the movie A Few Good Men.
 * Denn and Kryan saying their names in the dialog is a reference to William Shatner's character, Denny Crane, in Boston Legal, who would do say his name after each statement he made in a trial.