GuildWiki:Stop the Fights Upfront

Discussion doesn't work
Science has shown that people are less likely to change their minds when presented with rational arguments than to be struck by a meteor. Additionally, anonymous polls have revealed that 100% of GuildWiki users are stubborn and narrow-minded and are willing to debate semantics until all involved parties die of overexposure to monitor radiation. Faced with these statistics, it becomes abundantly clear that GuildWiki can no longer function on the quaint platforms of transparency and community discussion.

Consensus must be repurposed
Consensus as we once knew it no longer exists, and so a new mechanic for determining project direction must be found. In a system borrowed from the highly advanced ancient Chinese empire, consensus will henceforth be replaced by the Mandate of Heaven. The Mandate of Heaven is granted to users on a first-come, first-serve basis. The first user to voice his opinion on a subject will be considered an infallible authority, and anyone who dissents will be immediately quashed to prevent needless conflict, often referred to as drama.
 * Note:Users claiming to be female cannot receive the Mandate of Heaven, because there are no girls on the internet.

Passive-aggressive joker
In any situation where consensus does not go your way (e.g. because you failed to ensure your first-come, first-serve basis), this move may be employed to trump any established consensus. For this it is required to publicly "Give up and have it your way", possibly intimidating that one intends to leave the wiki for a time, if not forever. Care must be taken to prevent the "it's just wikidrama" countermove; if executed well, this move will ascertain that nobody dares oppose you, thus establishing an apparent consensus when there is none. This move is recommended for those editors whose contributions "keep the wiki going", and thus ensure them the status they deserve (cf. "meritocracy"); if you're not indispensable, this move can backfire badly.

Order must be enforced
Users cannot be trusted to abide by the Mandate of Heaven because they are unenlightened. Therefore it is necessary to appoint a sysop to the position of Lord High Executioner, whose only duty is enforcing acceptance of the Mandate. The Lord High Executioner is given absolute discretion to apply blocks as he sees fit, including blocking users for protesting blocks to avoid slippery sloping. The Lord High Executioner may be replaced occasionally.